


14 Days

by GinnyK



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Drama, Episode Tag, Episode: s02e01 In the Shadow of Two Gunmen Part I, F/M, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-05-31 06:11:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15113456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinnyK/pseuds/GinnyK
Summary: The first 14 days after Josh was shot - as told by Donna in her journal





	1. 14 Days

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**14 Days**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _In The Shadow of Two Gunmen_   
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Characters:** Josh and Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Notes:** I've wanted to do this story ever since we found out that Donna does keep a diary.  I started a few times but never got very far.  One of my biggests fears was that everyone has read their fill of stories about Rosslyn.  But I couldn't come up with any great ideas for continuing my Picking Up the Pieces series so I dug this out and am almost finished.  Against my better judgment about posting before I am finished I am going to start posting this before I got to DC tomorrow for the weekend. 

More notes-I am not a medical professions by any stretch of the imagination.  My knowledge comes from the web and watching ER.  So, while this was researched, please ignore any glaring medicals errors.  As this is Donna's diary some parts may be a little hard to follow at times or a little rambling, bear with me.  I think it will all work out in the end. 

**DAY 1**

I can't believe I'm sitting here writing in this now.  But it's this or go crazy and start screaming, crying or throwing things.  Not stuff I want to be doing with Mrs. Bartlet sitting in the seat next to me or Mrs. Landingham across from me. 

And the place we are sitting would be a stark waiting room at George Washington University Hospital. 

A few hours ago I started the biggest nightmare of my life.  After the town hall meeting in Rosslyn shots were fired and Josh and the President were hit. 

"Hit with what?" I muttered to Toby when he told me.  How idiotic did that sound? 

The President is going to be fine.  He's almost out of surgery.  The bullet didn't hit anything vital and he should be up and around in a few days. 

Josh....well, he wasn't so lucky.  He was shot in the chest and his pulmonary artery was damaged. Severely from what I'm told.  He's in surgery and has been for about 4 hours.  Which would make the surgery not even half over according to the doctor's estimates.  No one is giving odds and that tells me the odds are not good. 

I just got back from seeing him.  Mrs. Bartlet arranged to me to get a look at Josh.  In surgery. Talk about surreal. 

Toby volunteered to walk me upstairs.  I think he feels responsible since he was the one to tell me about Josh.  He put his arm around me and asked me half a dozen times if I was sure I wanted to see Josh.  I had to see him.  Just in case it was the last time I got a chance to see him....alive. 

Toby walked me to the observation window and told me he would be waiting down the hall.  It took me a few minutes to actually get the courage together to look at Josh.  I spent the first few minutes looking around at the operating suite.  The instruments, the machinery, the doctors and nurses, anything but the man on the table.  

And then I looked.  With all the people in there I didn't actually see much of the surgery.  I could see Josh from about the shoulders up.  Which was enough for me.  His unruly hair was tucked in the shower cap looking hat, his eyes were taped shut, he had a tube down his throat.  There were wires everywhere, snaking out from under the drapes, IV in his hand, pulse ox meter on his ear lobe.  And then there was the machinery.  So much of it.  I couldn't hear them but I could see the flashing lights and I willed the frantic beating of my heart to slow down in time with his.  I found my breathing matching the rise and fall of the ventilator. 

I had no idea how long I was there until Toby came back.  Almost an hour had passed by in what seemed like an instant.  Toby took me to the cafeteria and forced me to drink a cup of tea. 

And so here I am back in the waiting room....waiting. 

What am I going to do if the unthinkable happens?  I can't even bear to think about it. 

****  



	2. 14 Days

**14 Days**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _In The Shadow of Two Gunmen_   
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Characters:** Josh and Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  


* * *

**DAY 2**

Well, it's nearly noon.  I managed to sleep for a few hours.  I woke up stiff and disoriented in the waiting room a little while ago.  Mrs. Landingham force fed me breakfast and then had to go back to the White House.  

Josh just went to the recovery room.  Leo and the President are with him now.  It's my turn next so I should probably go to the ladies room and pull myself together so I don't look like some extra from a horror movie. 

Oh my God.  He's alive. 

I got up here about half an hour ago and just now managed to pull myself together enough and stop sobbing.  I went through Leo's handkerchief and half a box of tissues.  Josh is still pretty out of it.  He moans a little every few minutes but the nurse assures me he's not in any pain.  She told me to keep talking to him to try and bring him back to consciousness.  I tried for a little while but just ended up sobbing.  So now I'm sitting here next to his bed, holding his hand. 

He woke up a little while ago for about ten minutes, the longest stretch so far.  He opened his eyes enough to see I was there.  He started crying the minute he realized who I was.  Which started me all over again.  So I perched on the edge of the bed and brushed back his hair and kissed his forehead.  He calmed down pretty quick.  Probably wasn't such a good idea to be sitting on his bed and kissing him...but I didn't care.  

Josh was coming back to us....to me.  I can't believe I wrote that. 

So a minute ago he drifted off again.  The nurse says I can expect that to happen for the rest of the day. 

The doctor was in before and said Josh'll be moved to ICU in about an hour.  It's hard to see him like this.  Joshua Lyman, man of constant motion, lying here so still.  He's so pale and cold.  They gave him blood but he still looks like there's not enough running through his veins.  Tubes and stuff are everywhere still.  The monitors are noisy, it's a wonder he can get any rest.  But that's what the drugs are for, I suppose.  I think the only thing missing from the OR is the ventilator.  Thank God.  That's been replaced by nasal oxygen. 

I hear the doctor and the nurses in the hallway.  Looks like this is it from the Recovery Room. 

We're in the ICU now.  Not much different from the Recovery Room.  Not sure what I expected.  Guess I thought Josh would miraculously pop awake and started talking incessantly.  Not real likely for at least a couple of days. 

The room's a little bigger, but not much.  Not quite so much "stuff" in here.  Not that anything's missing as far as tubes and stuff.  Just not so much clutter in the room.  Yeah, I know that clutter was lifesaving medical equipment and that the same stuff is behind the curtain at the other side of this room. The monitors are still here, obviously, but the nurse turned the sound down a little so it's not so loud.  With those turned down the other sounds seems louder, the hiss of the automatic blood pressure cuff, the gurgling of the chest tube (which is pretty unnerving but I've been assured the sounds are perfectly normal) Josh is starting to get restless so I'll stop for now and see if I can calm him down a little. 

Well, Josh managed a whole conversation that consisted of whispering my name, asking for a drink and gasping in pain as the nurse made him take a deep breath.  He's awake at the moment but found it's too tiring to talk.  I was talking non-stop until he pointed to my journal in my hand and motioned for me to write.  I took that to mean...write and stop talking.  I offered to leave him alone for a while but that was met with a look of panic in his eyes.  So here I sit, writing and glancing up at him every minute or so.  He's groggy but doesn't seem to want to sleep.  He seems content to watch me even though I'm sure I look pretty bad.  I need to make some plans to go home for a while, shower, change and pick up Josh's messages from home. 

Leo just got here so I'm going to take the opportunity to run home, shower and grab a few things. I should probably stop by Josh's place and get some stuff for him.  For when he needs something other than medical intervention. 

OK now, I'm just stalling.  I called Leo when I got here to Josh's place.  Josh is asleep and has been for a few hours.  The Surgeon General came by to visit him for a few minutes.  He was out of it and didn't even know she was there.  Kind of a shame, he likes Millicent Griffith.  I've been home, showered, changed, napped, ate and packed a few things cause I don't plan on leaving the hospital for any length of time for the foreseeable future.  Not sure what the Secret Service and the hospital administration will think of that but for their own sake they'd better not cross the determined Donnatella Moss.  Oh no, I've been reduced to rhymes.  I think maybe I should have slept a little longer.  But it's almost 7 and I want to get back to the hospital before Josh is out for the night. 

So why am I sitting on Josh's couch stalling?  No idea really.  I just packed some things for him and sitting here makes everything seem normal.  Everything here is normal.  It's a mess, the breakfast dishes from yesterday were in the sink, the clean laundry was sitting on the chair in the bedroom, there were towels on the floor in the bathroom and the fridge is basically empty.  It wasn't before but I cleaned it out, throwing away perishables that will likely go bad before Josh gets home. 

Time to get my act together, pull myself together and go see Josh. 

It's almost 11 and Josh is finally settled down.  When I got here he was not doing well at all.  His O2 levels kept dropping, which led to the doctor ordering an O2 mask instead of the nasal oxygen.  Which in turn brought out claustrophobic tendencies I didn't know Josh even had and a near panic attack.  Finally got him calmed down when the RT came in for some deep breathing.  My heart broke for Josh as he struggled to follow her instructions while still pretty groggy.  Deep Breathing Techniques should be renamed Deep Breathing Torture.  I just sat there helpless, completely unsure of what to do.  A big part of me wanted to pull the respiratory therapist away from him and drop kick her down the hall.  But I think that would have annoyed Chris and Gary, the two agents outside Josh's door.  So I sat there helplessly watching as Josh struggled to take a deep breath and try to hold back the tears. 

The second the RT left I sat next to him on the bed desperately wanting to take him in my arms but knowing that would cause even more pain.  I whispered to him to let go and let the tears fall.  They fell silently; sobbing loudly would have been physically too painful for him.  The nurse came in with a syringe full of the good stuff and now he's almost asleep.  

Tomorrow they want him on the PCA machine.  And I have to find somewhere to hook up his laptop and start visiting WEBMD.com.  I have a whole list of things I need to learn about, O2 values, PO2 values, chest tubes, PCA machines and a whole list of other things I jotted down on a napkin earlier.  Just when I have the political abbreviations and terms figured out I'm thrown into the medical world. 

When I got back here I noticed a recliner had been brought in.  I think that was compliments of Mrs. Bartlet.  I made it pretty clear to her earlier that I really had no intention of leaving anytime soon.  She understood, having not gone back to the White House herself since this whole nightmare started. 

Gary just stuck his head in and said the President is on his way to visit enough though Josh is probably out for the foreseeable future.  I started to leave but Gary assured me the President was expecting me to be here when he arrived.  So I guess the least I can do is run a brush through my hair and splash some water on my face. 


	3. 14 Days 3

**14 Days**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _In The Shadow of Two Gunmen_   
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Characters:** Josh and Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  


* * *

**DAY 3**

Sleeping in a recliner, coupled with the endless stream of medical personnel that traipsed through the room all night, has left me a little cranky this morning.  But nothing like Josh.  It looks like it is shaping up to be "Let's get Josh up and moving day", otherwise known as "Let's torture Josh day" 

The day started a little over an hour ago at a little before 7.  The nursing shift was about to change so vitals were taken....for the record. 

O2-a little low  
temp-a little high  
lung sounds-apparently could be better, RT is coming to visit in a while to teach Josh to cough.  
incision-looks nice.  I'll take their word for it; I'm not too keen on peeking just yet. 

Breakfast came at 7.  If you could call it that.  It think it was a can of some nasty looking drink, probably something along the lines of Ensure and some ginger ale.  The dietary tech announced that lunch would be something better.  I'm guessing Jello and I'm also guessing Josh wouldn't think that's much of an improvement.  But he doesn't seem interested in eating anyway so he's not complaining too much. 

Which brings us up to now and the fact that I stepped out when the doctor came by to visit.  Had Josh been awake I would have stayed but he was out cold from the exertion of drinking some ginger ale and breathing deeply a couple of times. 

The doctor just stopped by the cafeteria.  I'm assuming the Bartlet's told him to treat me like Josh's next of kin until his mom gets here sometime this afternoon.  Anyway he's pleased with how Josh is coming along.  If you ask me he hasn't come very far, but then again, I don't have a medical degree.  

It's amazing how humor creeps into my writing at the strangest times. 

Doc wants Josh on the PCA pump now so he can take some control over his recovery.  He wants Josh to be sitting up by the end of the day and would be thrilled if he at least tried to eat something.  I'm really not holding out any great hope.  He's a little worried about the O2 readings and the fever Josh's been running since the middle of the night.  Ordered the oxygen mask if the numbers keep falling and something to calm Josh down if it comes to the mask.  Who knew the confident, swaggering Joshua Lyman was claustrophobic?  

So now that my breakfast is done I'll head back up there to see what's happening. 

Well, an eventful afternoon so far.  Started off with green Jello for lunch.  I don't even think Josh picked up the spoon.  He did manage to drink a little ginger ale but unfortunately it didn't stay down very long before he threw it and an impressive (and disgusting) amount of mucous up in his lap. But on the plus side he was sort of sitting up when he did it. Which led to me helping the nurse to get him changed.  Which led to a very uncomfortable situation for me and possibly for Josh I couldn't tell cause he was out of it from pushing the button on the PCA machine.  Let's just say, he was wearing only the hospital robe that needed to be changed.  I'm sure the nurse thinks we're more than boss and assistant.  Which I suppose we are but we're not THAT much more.  I approached the whole thing as clinically as possible and hoped I wasn't blushing too much. 

RT came up after we got Josh changed and for a minute there I thought he was going to need another gown.  She brought an ugly pillow shaped like a heart for Josh to hug when he's practicing his coughing and his sitting up.  It's supposed to help with the pain.  It's not helping.  She did manage to get him to cough up an alarming amount of junk from his lungs, which I guess is good but, well...yuck.  And it made him heave a few times, but since he hadn't eaten, nothing came up. 

I just realized these pages could get rather....uh, descriptive with all the medical stuff going on.  But it's not like anyone other than me will be reading it. 

Josh's mom called from the airport.  She's on her way.  She wanted to come last night but couldn't get a flight out until today.  I think it was better this way.  I had a hard enough time holding myself together last night.  I don't think I would have been about to hold her together too.  We wouldn't have made a very good team. 

Mrs. Lyman arrived about 3.   She's holding herself together pretty well.  As much as they say Josh is out of the woods I can't imagine being in her shoes, facing the mortality of her only living child.  Josh was awake and coherent for the first half hour or so of her visit.  For which I was happy.  She sat with him, held his hand and brushed back his hair.  I felt as if I was intruding on their time together so I went out for a breath of fresh air.  I also stopped by to visit the President.  He's looking much better and will probably be released tomorrow.  To the custody of his wife, he teased. 

Leo stopped by a few minutes ago.  We had coffee here in the cafeteria and then he went up to see Josh and Mrs. Lyman.  Who wants me to call her Rebecca but I don't know about that.  I told her I'd try. 

Suppose I should think about what I'm going to do tonight.  Stay or leave. I'll certainly stick around till Josh is out for the night.  Or out until the next round of poking and prodding from the medical staff.  Tomorrow he'll be moved to a regular room and Mrs. Bartlet promised me a cot. 

The nurse just stuck her head in and said Josh was asking for me. 

It's now somewhere around 2 and I suppose it's technically day 4 but I guess my days will start with the sunrise.  Fresh, new, the sun'll come out and all that other crap. 

The nurse was just here to do a vital check and it woke us both up completely.  For the record 

temp-101.3  
O2-just fine at 98 with the nasal prongs  
everything else seems to be ok 

They gave him something to try and bring down the fever and the doc is culturing some stuff to narrow down the choice of antibiotics.  I know they drew blood earlier to culture and I think, although I didn't actually witness it, they cultured some of the nasty stuff he's been hocking up all day. Thanks to the RT. 

It's rather eerie in here at the moment.  The only light on is a very small one over Josh's bed so I have the journal next to him on the bed, my left hand and his right holding it still while I try to write with my right hand.  Yeah, I'm holding his hand.  I've discovered rather quickly that he calms down when he knows I'm nearby.  The sound is turned off of the monitors and the blood pressure cuff is set to go off every half hour or so.  A lot less often than this time yesterday.  Even the chest tube isn't so noisy tonight.  I'm thinking that's a good thing.  They're talking about pulling it out in a day or so.  Not sure I want to be around for that.  Sounds rather unpleasant. 

Well, Josh is restless and he's already pushed this off the bed twice so I think I am going to try and get some sleep.  Before the next round of "Let's wake Josh up and check his vitals." 


	4. 14 Days 4

**14 Days**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _In The Shadow of Two Gunmen_   
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Characters:** Josh and Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  


* * *

**DAY 4**

Moving Day. 

The doc just left.  As soon as Josh is done breakfast we're out of the ICU and on our way to a regular room.  Well, I think it might be a little nicer than a regular old room.  I think being a senior advisor to the President might get Josh a few perks around here. 

So we're all packed up.  Not that they was that much to pack.  My stuff is tossed in my tote bag and my duffle.  Josh's stuff is still in his backpack because he hasn't really needed much from home yet.  But that's going to change soon cause the doc wants him up and in the wheelchair later.  So his mom brought over his robe and slippers last night before she went back to sleep at his place. 

And so Josh is eating breakfast.  Or to put it more honestly, Josh is playing with his breakfast. It's Jello, red this time, some juice and tea.  He drank a little juice and some of the tea.  He's managed to pick up the spoon and stab at the Jello.  I'm trying not to be obvious about watching him and I think I'm doing a pretty good job. 

Or maybe not. 

He just caught me watching him.  I tried to get him to eat something but he honestly has no interest in food right now.  And that's not going to go over too well with the doc.  He really wants him to start eating.  Cause eating gets other things going.  Things I'm not going to write about, not even here!  And on that subject the catheter comes out later today and Josh will be left with the decision to get moving or use the bedpan.  I don't think either is too appealing to him at the moment. 

Well, the nurse of the day is here and she's got this look that says it's time to torture Josh so I'll throw this in my bag and see if I can help, or run interference.  I'll decide in a minute. 

Well, after a rough two hours we're settled in a spacious room over looking the city.  It's very nice actually.  Josh is thrilled with the television so he can watch CNN.  I'm not thrilled that it will probably get him all worked up but at least it gives him something to do.  He tried reading the paper yesterday but couldn't focus long enough or hold it at an angle that was comfortable.  So for the moment he's content to watch TV and as long as he's not getting too worked up I'm inclined to let him be. 

Moving from the ICU turned out to be harder than expected.  Now Josh sat up, sort of, for a while last night.  So the nurse thought he could just go in the wheelchair to the new room.  Well, sort of sitting up and actually sitting up are two entirely different things.  The nurse raised the head of Josh's bed...slowly, thank God.  He was doing ok for a few minutes and then went pale.  Luckily I recognized the "I'm going to puke" face from the countless times he's shown up drunk at my apartment.  He managed to hit the bowl.  And of course since he hadn't eaten much it was basically just painful heaving.  Which is another reason the doc, the nurse and I are trying to convince him to eat something.  Gross as it sounds, throwing up something is much better than just dry heaving.  But Josh isn't buying that, not yet at least. 

So wheelchair idea was scrapped for now.  But the doc wants him in it by tonight, no excuses. 

Oh great, lunch should be here soon.  Time to get him to eat and then I have to get out of here for a little while.  I need to go home and pick up some things and stop by Josh's for a few things he wants.  I teased him about not shaving so now he wants his electric razor.  He's complaining about the drafty gown so I'll get some pajama pants and t-shirts.  I have to go over to the White House and make sure our desks are still standing under what must be a mountain of paper by now.  Mrs. L, Rebecca is going to stay with him this afternoon.  I've found the idea of being alone just freaks Josh out so I try to make sure someone is here at all times. 

Well, the office of the DCOS is still standing.  Most of Josh's (and my) stuff has been farmed out.  I grabbed some stuff I could work on here.  But only when Josh is asleep.  He's not supposed to be worrying about work, just recovering.  Rebecca said he ate a little at lunch and managed to keep it down.  Doc was happy about that.  The tests results are back from the cultures and they've changed around the antibiotics order a little.  I'm not even going to try to write down what bacteria they came up with.  Still need to get onto WEBMD.com.  Maybe later.  So his temp is still elevated.  Trying to wean him off the O2 completely.  That's going slower than he would like but they don't seem overly worried. 

Josh was asleep when I got back.  Rebecca had just left so it gave me a chance to get a good look at him.  He looks better, not as pale.  But still clearly uncomfortable, even with the PCA and even in his sleep.  He's still flat on his back when he sleeps and I know from traveling he's more comfortable sleeping curled up on his side. 

I just realized that what I'm doing now, watching him sleep, is one of the things I most look forward to when we travel.  He's a completely different person in his sleep.  He's still, or as still as he gets, the lines on his forehead smooth out and he's at peace. 

Usually at peace. 

He's not now.  I can tell he wants to curl up but every time he moves it hurts.  Not enough to wake him up completely but enough for him to moan a little, grimace a little. 

I scoot closer to hold his hold hand for a minute.  He's so warm.  I put a cool cloth on his forehead and he smiled a little in his sleep.  I think it's the first glimpse of his dimples I've seen in four days. 

I should get some work done before he wakes up and wants to help.  No way am I letting him work. I have to lay down the rules about that. 

Well, it was a busy afternoon and evening.  RT was here to put Josh through another session with the torture pillow.  I think it's slowly getting better though.  No puking this time around.  The physical therapist was in to get an idea of where Josh is at the moment.  Showed me some range of motion stuff I can do with his legs.  She would also like to see him up and in the chair.  Which is what we will be attempting shortly. 

Dinner was just served a little while ago, broth, pudding and juice.  Josh managed to get down some of the pudding and he drank enough to satisfy the medical types. 

So we're waiting for the physical therapist to come back and then we'll attempt the wheelchair again. 

Josh has been quiet today.  Pain is about the same as yesterday, judging by his mood and how often he uses the PCA button.  I can tell he's starting to get frustrated.  His mind is clearer and he can focus for longer periods of time but everything just exhausts him so much.  Especially talking.  Some of that's from being on the vent for as long as he was, his throat is still really sore.  So sometimes he just writes on a small notepad Toby left for him.  But even that's a struggle.  The IV's in his right hand and moving his left arm is painful.  So I've picked up a lot of lip reading and the mind reading thing Josh and I have together is coming in handy too. 

Josh has already bugged me about letting people visit.  It's amazing how well he can whine without actually saying a word!  I'll add a visitor schedule to the list of rules we're discussing later. 

OK, PT just arrived. 

It's a little after midnight and I'm sitting looking out the window.  There's a great view of the city and I never get tired of looking at it at night. 

Josh spent about 45 minutes sitting in the wheelchair.  He did better than I thought he would.  Didn't really go anyway, just over to the window so he could look out for a while.  Once he loses the 02 we can venture down the hall a little.  They're working on weaning him down now.  They just shut off the oxygen. The nurse stayed for a few minutes to see what would happen.  He's satting at 97 on room air (yes, I visited WEBMD today and talked to Mrs. Bartlet earlier) which is fine. The monitor is still on his finger so it will go off if things drop too much. 

More PT tomorrow morning so I should probably get some sleep too.  After I tuck him in once more and brush a kiss over his forehead.  To check for fever. Yeah, maybe if I keep telling myself that I'll believe it. 


	5. 14 Days 5

**14 Days**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _In The Shadow of Two Gunmen_   
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Characters:** Josh and Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  


* * *

**DAY 5**

Well, busy day all around.  It's already 1:00 and this is the first chance I've had to sit and write. 

Instituted some rules over breakfast.  Which Josh actually ate pretty well.  Yogurt, tea and about half a piece of my toast.  Rules didn't go over too well but I don't care.  So here they are: 

Visitors twice a day from 9-11 AM and 6-8 PM.  Anyone can visit but people from work aren't allowed to talk about anything that might get Josh worked up.  Toby was already thrown out over that rule this morning. 

TV is fine as long as he doesn't start to get too agitated. 

Naptime after lunch from 12-2 

Lights out at 9 but he can watch TV until he falls asleep. 

And that's it for now.  But I'm sure more will come up, especially after he gets released.  Which the doc is now saying in about a week.  I can't honestly see Josh being able to leave here in a week but that's why I'm not the doctor. 

They pulled the chest tube late this morning.  I wasn't around for that.  Josh said it wasn't too bad but he did admit he hit the button on the PCA machine 5 minutes before they did it. 

Sitting in the wheelchair is working out fine.  Josh's O2 levels are staying up there so we were able to take a little trip down the hall and back after lunch.  And Josh did manage to eat a little better.  They're still giving him something to keep him from getting so nauseous.  I think it's the pain meds that are making him sick to his stomach.  Doc agrees.  Josh hasn't used the PCA nearly as much today.  Cutting the pain meds back starting tomorrow.  They're hoping to cap the IV off sometime tomorrow if Josh could start to eat a little more but some test results came back not so great which means he'll still need some more IV antibiotics. But he doesn't have to be tethered to the IV pole continuously for that. That can be administered when he sleeps. 

Real PT starts later. Doc wants him up and moving around. 

And he sleeps.  It's been a long day and he's been fighting sleep.  I don't think he ever sleeps well.  His mind just doesn't shut itself off enough to allow him to relax.  But now he's starting to fight it.  I think it's because he doesn't want to wake up and find that he's alone. I try to make sure he's never alone but that's not always possible.  Like now.  I'm waiting for Rebecca to get here.  She's taking the night shift so I can go home and get some sleep.  I'll go into the office in the morning and be back her by lunch at the latest. 

Who am I kidding, I'll be back here by 10:00 AM. 


	6. 14 Days 6

**14 Days**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _In The Shadow of Two Gunmen_   
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Characters:** Josh and Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  


* * *

**DAY 6**

So I was off by an hour.  It's almost 11:00.  The physical therapist was in Josh's room when I got here.  I stuck my head in and wisely decided to leave.  He was clearly in pain and his normal arrogance, which has been tucked aside for the last 6 days, was making an appearance.  I suppose that's a good sign.  I don't know. 

So I'm here in the cafeteria grabbing a late breakfast/early lunch.  Spent a few hours in the office this morning.  Tried to get some work done but just ended up giving the report on Josh's condition half a dozen times.  Then the fact that I was in the West Wing somehow made its way upstairs to the residence and the President wanted to see me. 

He looks good.  He's still "chained" to the bed as he likes to put it.  Mrs. Bartlet was there when I got there but she left the President in my care while she ran over to her own office to grab some work.  The President and I talked about Josh for a while and then chatted about some unimportant stuff.  I don't even remember what.  He was restless and so he called Abbey and asked for permission to walk around for a while.  That shocked me.  Apparently the First Lady must be a little scary, as the rumors have led us to believe. 

So there I was, a an assistant from Wisconsin, helping the President of the United States put on his flannel bathrobe and take a walk down the hall.  He took my arm and we went slowly but he did manage to take a lap around the residence.  He was tired by the time we got back to his bedroom so I helped him get settled on the couch with his pillow and the quilt.  He motioned for me to sit on the coffee table for a minute.  He told me how proud he was of me and the way I've handled myself over the past few days.  I tried to hold it together, I really did.  But soon I was reaching for the tissues I've taken to always having with me recently.  After I calmed myself down the President was fading fast.  He motioned for me to lean over and he patted my cheek and kissed my forehead.  Which got me started all over again.  I left in tears and practically ran back to the West Wing. 

Well, it's almost 11:30 so I think Josh should be done with PT and getting ready for lunch. 

According to the PT guy Josh did fairly well this morning with his exercises.  He wants to try and get him on his feet later this afternoon.  I think that might be pushing him just a little, but what do I know about PT. 

Given Josh's normal bowel sounds (that info comes from the nurse, I didn't check personally) lunch was one step closer to a normal meal.  Soup, mashed potatoes, yogurt and tea.  Josh ate more for lunch than he had eaten in the past 3 meals.  Doc was very happy, and so was I.  I'm getting tired of begging him to eat.  By tomorrow doc said he could get a regular meal and just eat whatever he feels up to eating.  First on Josh's list is ice cream. Which doc promised him he could have after dinner tonight. 

It's 1:30 and Josh is napping against his wishes.  He tried to put up a fight but I just tuned the television to Lifetime and he was out in ten minutes. 

So I've spent the last 20 minutes watching him sleep, resting my hand lightly on his chest, feeling his strong and steady heartbeat.  Yet another thing I shouldn't be doing.  But over these past 6 days certain lines have become blurred, roles changed, our lives altered forever. 

4:00, time for PT.  Josh is going down to the PT room and wants me to go with him.  So off we go. 

11:00 and Josh is finally sleeping thanks to a sleeping pill and some pain meds.  Worked very hard in PT, got up on his own two feet for a few minutes, took a few steps holding on to the parallel bars.  Could tell he was really pleased with himself. 

The dinner selection was a vast improvement over what he's been given so far but Josh just was not hungry.  Didn't even finish the ice cream doc brought by for him.  That worries us a little.  As does the fever he spiked after dinner, almost 101. 

Doc isn't real happy with the way Josh's lungs sound.  He's been coughing more over the past few hours.  Which in turn causes more pain in his chest.  It's a never ending cycle it seems.  Cultured some more junk from his lungs and will do a chest x-ray in the morning.  Doc hasn't said anything but I know enough from what I've read that he's worried about aspiration pneumonia.  In addition to the couple of times he got sick after surgery Josh threw up a few times before he even got to the OR and then again when he was coming out of the anesthesia so him having inhaled something is a distinct possibility. 


	7. 14 Days 7

**14 Days**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _In The Shadow of Two Gunmen_   
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Characters:** Josh and Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  


* * *

**DAY 7**

There are times when I really hate being right.  It's 5:00 PM and it has been an exceedingly long day already.  Unfortunately my guess about pneumonia was confirmed by some cultures and a chest x-ray earlier today. 

At the moment we are playing a waiting game to see if Josh needs to go back to the ICU, possibly put back on the vent.  His fever is running well over 102 and has been for most of the day.  Despite numerous breathing treatments he's still pretty wheezy.  They are trying to control the coughing which is obviously causing a lot of pain and just exhausting him.  He's on the O2 mask now and he's not complaining.  But unfortunately that's because he's pretty much out of it at the moment between the meds, the pain and his exhaustion. 

Rebecca excused herself about an hour ago.  Sam was here at the time and took her back to Josh's place.  She held in there as long as she could but the sight of her son in tears was too much for her to handle.  I don't blame her.  I had to distance myself too.  Which is why I am huddled in the corner by the window with my back to Josh.  Leo's sitting with him at the moment.  He's talking softly, recalling stories about Mallory and Josh when they were kids.  I'm half listening and half trying to form coherent sentences.  I don't know why writing in this is so important to me.  But it is.  I guess part of it is that it gives me something to do, something to concentrate on other than my best friend laying in bed 4 feet away from me. 

9:15 PM, Josh woke up a little while ago and had a coughing fit so bad that they were standing by ready to suction him.  That was ten times more frightening than watching the surgery.  Probably because I was right there, holding his hand and rubbing his back as he tried to get control of his breathing.  He coughed so violently that the nurse actually took a look to make sure the incision was ok.  That's a scary thought.  That gave me a glimpse of the scar for the first time. It's actually not as bad as I had thought it would be. 

With a breathing treatment, oxygen and a mild sedative he's calm now but fighting sleep like I've never seen him do before.  I'm sitting next to the bed and Josh is just staring at the ceiling, refusing to close his eyes.  He tried talking a little but it was too much for him.  He didn't even want to watch CNN.  He needs some sleep so let me stop this and see if I can get him to relax a little. 

Josh finally drifted off to sleep a little before 10.  After I stopped writing I held his hand for a few minutes and then he motioned for me to put the railing up on the other side of the bed. I did and he moved over up against the railing to give me room to lay on the bed next to him.  I know all kinds of warning bells should have gone off in my head.  But they didn't and I'm not sure how that makes me feel.  Josh tried to settle his head on my shoulder but found it was too painful so he just took my left hand in both his hands and laid it all across his stomach.  I kissed his cheek and whispered anything I could of that might reassure him and calm him down.  I have no idea what I said but enventually he fell asleep with his tears and mine running down his cheek. 

It's almost 1:30 now and I'd try to go back to sleep but I know the nurse will be in to check Josh's vitals at 2:00 and since I always wake up I might as well just stay up and wait for her. 

2:15, temp is still over 102, with the mask he's holding steady at 96. Josh is completely out so we won't discuss the route of administration for the Tylenol they just gave him.  I sat with him for a minute and now I'd better try to get some sleep myself.  Who knows what the rest of the night will hold. 


	8. 14 Days 8

**14 Days**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _In The Shadow of Two Gunmen_   
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Characters:** Josh and Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  


* * *

**DAY 8**

We both managed to get some sleep last night.  No long stretches or anything but probably a total of about 6 hours.  It's a little after 7 and I just got off the phone with Rebecca, she wants to come over but she's not sure if she's ready. I told her to wait a while, until Josh wakes up and we get a better idea of how he's doing.  I suggested she call Leo and she if she can have breakfast or something with him.  I think she needs to talk to someone and Leo's a good choice.  Well, sleeping beauty is waking up so I'll put this away. 

12:00.  Nurse was just in, here's the bullet, (been watching too much ER) 

temp 101.8  
SATS-97 with nasal O2  
resps, didn't catch the number but still a little fast according to the nurse  
lungs-still sound horrible, her words, not mine 

RT is on their way to do a treatment and give their opinion. 

My opinion, still looks like crap, pale and drawn.  Slightly more alert but not a whole lot.  Drank a little juice but has no interest in food.  But nurse said not to push the food issue, he's hooked back up to the IV and he's getting what he needs from that. 

RT just got here. I can't stay and watch, despite the look Josh is giving me.  I think I just earned a spot on "the list". 

Oh yeah, I'm on the list, in fact I think I'm at the top of the damn list.  Cold shoulder ever since this morning.  So I just went about doing the work I brought with me while Josh watched TV, tried to read, whatever.  Whenever he slept I snuck over to sit next to him, holding his hand, brushing back his hair. 

He's awake now and thinks I don't notice him watching me as I sit on my cot and write.  As long as he seems like he's going to acknowledge that I exist I might as well try to get him to stretch a little or at least sit in the chair. 

Guess I managed to move down a few slots on the list.  Josh came around before and let me help him into the chair.  He sat by the window for a while.  He asked if there was any new gossip from work.  None that I know of but there could be all kinds of stuff going on that I didn't hear about.  I've pretty much been in and out.  And when I am there I do my work and not spend too much time socializing.  Except for when the President invites me to come and visit. 

Anyway, Josh wasn't real receptive to the idea of any formal stretching, as doc had hinted about, but he did let me pull his feet into my lap to stretch out his legs a little.  I rubbed his feet, which seem to be perpetually cold even with socks on.  I flexed his toes back towards his body to loosen up his calves a little.  He's got to get on his feet soon if he wants to get out of here by the weekend.  He did let me stand behind him and stretch his arms a little but that pulls on the incision so we didn't do too much of that.  I chose instead to rub his shoulders and neck a little, ingoring the warning bells that keep invading my head. 

Toby and CJ came by after Josh ate dinner. Or rather after he pushed the food around on the plate.  They brought ice cream with them and he did manage to eat most of that.  Rebecca was here too.  She's doing better.  She did have a chance to talk with Leo earlier.  I think it was good for both of them. 

It's almost 9:00 now so I'm going to turn off the lights and let him watch CNN for a little while.  He just moved over on the bed to give me room to lie down next to him. 

DING DING DING (damn bells) 


	9. 14 Days 9

**14 Days**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _In The Shadow of Two Gunmen_   
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Characters:** Josh and Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  


* * *

**DAY 9**

Antibiotics seem to be working.  Josh slept for 5 straight hours which was good.  He woke up around 7 and managed to sit up and have something to drink.  Felt well enough to whine about the O2 mask they had him on overnight so they'll change back to the nasal O2 after he's done with the breathing treatment he's in the middle of right now.  Rebecca should be here any minute and then I am leaving for a while.  Need to go home and then go to the White House for a few hours.  As much as I'd like to just stay here with Josh all the time, it's not good...for either of us. 

2:15, Sam's with Josh now so I'm sitting in the cafeteria.  Doc just came by to give an update.  Josh's doing pretty well, all things considered.  He's still running almost 101 and can't keep the O2 up without supplemental oxygen but he's coughing less, he's more alert and in less pain.  If things continue how they are going he thinks Josh will be able to go home by the weekend.  I'm not ready to even think about that.  I can't imagine trying to keep him calm and out of trouble after he's home.  Have to have some more rules. 

Sam just came in so let me put this away for now. 

This afternoon was rather interesting.  Josh tried to read the paper but it tends to tire him rather quickly, trying to focus and hold it up.  So I read a little of it to him.  I was in the middle of a rather interesting article on foreign trade when Josh started to get agitated.  His voice doesn't always work well so he was pulling on my hand and pointing towards the door.  I turned around expecting to see doc or Rebecca and saw President Bartlet instead.  I flew out of my chair to stand and tossed the newspaper, which landed on Josh's head.  He managed to pull it off him but then started to laugh, which started the coughing, causing bells to go off when his sats dropped.  Through all of this the President just came in to the room, stood next to Josh, brushed his hair back and held his hand. 

We finally got everything calmed down and I excused myself to go get some fresh air. 

When I got back both of them were asleep.  Josh, in bed, obviously and the President was in the more comfortable of the two visitor's chairs with his feet propped up on the bed.  I wish I had had a camera.  I pulled the covers over Josh and kissed his forehead, pretending once again it was only to check his temp.  I took the extra blanket from my cot and threw it over the snoring leader of my country. 

They both slept until about 15 minutes ago when dinner was delivered.  The President went back to the White House after kissing both of us on the cheek. 

Right now Josh is currently picking at his food and shooting me the "death glare" because I told him he couldn't turn the TV on until he ate something.  Yeah, I know I'm treating him like a child but I'm going with the "whatever works" theory for the time being.  

OK, he choked down a little so I'll let him watch CNN.  

Cabin fever is starting to set in big time.  Greg, the PT guy came up for a while after dinner and got Josh in the wheelchair for a little change of scenery.  A little change of scenery is a big deal when you've got to drag an IV pole and oxygen with you but we did manage to walk down to the little lounge at the end of the hallway.  Gave Josh a different window to look out of and a chance to talk to Gary, one of the agents assigned to him.  No one actually thinks Josh is in any danger at the hospital but I know Mrs. Bartlet wants us to be as comfortable as possible and disturbed as little as possible.  We all know that a picture of Josh in a hospital gown, hocking up a lung is worth big bucks to many newspapers.  So Chris and Gary have been assigned to us.  But they rarely come in the room, they just stand watch outside. 

We got back to the room and Josh got back in bed and settled down without complaint.  Sound asleep by 9:15. 

12:00 AM and Josh is awake once again.  Lights out at 9:00 is a good idea but by the time he calms down and relaxes enough it's time for a vital check and then we start all over sgain.  This time it wasn't the nurse waking him up.  

He was fine, he was sound asleep, I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when I hear him let loose a string of words he doesn't normally use. 

I ran out of the bathroom and all I saw was blood. 

I was literally frozen for a second until I realized it was just a nose bleed from being on the nasal oxygen for so long.  Josh had managed to hit the call button and the nurse was there in a minute.  We got him cleaned up quickly but he's still a bit freaked.  He didn't want to talk, preferring instead to just have me sit next to him on the bed. He's trying to read over my shoulder.  Trying to read "the good stuff" as he calls it.  No good stuff here, unfortunately. 


	10. 14 Days 10

**14 Days**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _In The Shadow of Two Gunmen_   
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Characters:** Josh and Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  


* * *

**Day 10**

Finally 6 straight hours sleep for both of us.  I woke up to find Josh awake and eating while talking on the phone with Sam.  It's the first time he's attempted to talk on the phone.  The conversation didn't last long but at least he tried.  He gave me a huge smile when he realized I was awake and watching him. 

He's off the O2 for now and according to RT his lungs sound much better.  Even I can tell that.  No more sounding like he's going to hock up a lung every ten minutes.  Still running a slight fever, just over 100 but doc's not real worried about that.  Pain meds were cut again, he's off the PCA and taking everything but the antibiotics orally. So he's not hooked up to anything when the antibiotics aren't running.  I think we've really turned a corner over the last 12 hours.  

Which leads me to the conversation we're about to have.  He's got a busy day ahead of him with PT and some other tests.  So I am going to leave and go to work.  And unless something horrible happens I won't be back until dinnertime. 

OK he didn't take that conversation well and I got the cold shoulder before he left for PT.  It hurt but I know I'm doing the right thing.  He has to get used to me not being around 24/7.  And I have to get used to it too. 

It's strange sitting here in Josh's office without him.  I'm behind his desk eating lunch and well, hiding a little.  I did manage to get a lot of stuff done this morning despite having to give updates on his condition at least 6 times.  I have the lights off and the blinds and the door closed so I'm hoping people get the hint that I don't want to be disturbed.  I haven't talked to Josh since I left this morning.  I tried to call once but he was either out of his room or asleep.  So I just put a call in to the doc and am waiting for him to get back to me. 

Phone. 

Now I don't know what to do.  Doc just called.  Josh isn't having the greatest day.  Apparently he's moody, crabby, stubborn.  Which I explained wasn't all that unusual for Joshua Lyman.  But he's also had some trouble eating and keeping things down.  Doc doesn't think it's a setback or anything like that, he think it's just a bad day and Josh's emotions are getting the best of him.  Which in turn makes me feel guilty for leaving him today.  So I guess I'll finish up the essentials, stop by Josh's place to pick up a few more things and head back to the hospital. 

I expected to be met with the cold shoulder and the silent treatment when I got back.  I never expected to be meet with tears and sobbing.  Josh was out of bed when I got back. He was in the chair by the window, doing his best to curl up in a ball.  My heart broke at the look on his face.  It was like he never thought he'd see me again.  I grabbed the quilt I had brought from his place a few days ago off the end of the bed and wrapped him up in it.  I sat on the arm of the chair and put my arm around him and the floodgates opened.  I rubbed his back and kissed his forehead while he literally sobbed for a good ten minutes.  By the time he calmed down he was exhausted so I helped him into bed and sat with him.  He drank a little ginger ale and unfortunately didn't keep it down very long.  Got him cleaned up and into a fresh set of pajamas. 

When we were sitting there on the bed it occured to me that he hadn't really said anything since I had returned.  And it was also clear he wasn't in the mood to talk.  So I rubbed his back until he drifted off a little before 6:00, just as the dinner tray was delivered. 

It's almost 7:00 and he's still out.  Doc was just here trying to make me feel less guilty.  He explained that what happened today was perfectly normal.  All Josh's energies have been focused on physical healing for the past week.  He's feeling better and there's less pain to focus on so his emotions just ran wild and things he'd been holding in just spilled out.  My not being there gave him more time to brood, thats all.  Do I still feel guilty?  Sure I do, but I'll get over it.  Josh's starting to stir so let me see what I can get him to eat. 

10:00 and he's out again, hopefully for the night.  I'm procrastinating about what I should really be doing.  Since Josh was shot I have received hundreds of phone calls from various media outlets looking for an interview with Josh, or me, apparently they're not real picky about who they talk to.  As a result I have a stack of pink phone messages at least an inch thick as well as a stack of faxes about the same size.  Josh and I talked about it a little tonight when we took a trip down to the cafeteria. 

By the time he woke up his dinner was beyond cold so he conned the nurse into letting us hit the cafeteria.  He refused to go down in his pajamas so I helped him put on some sweats and off we went. He ate a little soup and some crackers.  He did drink enough that the fluid police (his term) won't complain.  He told me to decide who to grant an interview to.  He wants to do it here at the hospital before he's discharged.  Which means I have to get going and make a decision, Doc think he'll be out of here by the weekend. 

OK, I'm going to wade through the messages. 

I was leaning towards Oprah but I don't think that's who Josh had in mind.  After reading a note from the people at The Today Show I'm now leaning towards them.  Hey, I'd love to meet Matt Lauer. And I know for a fact that Katie Couric has a thing for Josh and that the feeling is mutual.  So I'll call them in the morning and see what we can set up.  Although I'm sure they'll just do a remote spot and I won't get anywhere near Matt but a girl can dream. 


	11. 14 Days 11

**14 Days**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _In The Shadow of Two Gunmen_   
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Characters:** Josh and Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  


* * *

**DAY 11**

The day Josh's been waiting for, shower day.  He's had it with sponge baths and strange waterless shampoo.  Doc cleared him for a shower provided he used the shower seat and someone was with him at all times.  Yeah, I get that honor.  Not sure how it's going to work.  And I won't know until we get in there and he sees just how much help he's going to need.  I'm praying for a minimal amount of embarrassment all around.  Josh still doesn't know I got a peek at everything when he was still out of it.  I think I'll just keep that to myself. 

Josh's almost done breakfast so let me get his clean pajamas and stuff out for him. 

Well, that wasn't too bad.  Josh went in first with his boxers on.   I washed his hair for him using the detachable shower head and then left him alone, although I sat on the closed toilet seat 5 feet away.  He managed ok, got his boxers down but wasn't able to kick them completely off so he did ask for help.  I tossed him a towel to cover up with and then pulled the boxers off for him. 

Not sure how but he did manage to dry off enough to pull a clean pair of boxers on before he came out of the shower.  I wrapped him up in a towel and sat him down on the toilet seat so he could catch his breath. I handed him a t-shirt and he just stared at it for a minute without taking it and then it hit me.  He wasn't too thrilled about the idea of me seeing the scar so I offered to leave.  But he realized he couldn't get the shirt on by himself so he shook his head and slowly unwrapped the towel.  I tried to just put the shirt on as quickly as possible but he shook his head and whispered "look". So I took a deep breath and willed back my tears and looked. It's really not as bad as I thought it would be.  It's big, there's no doubt about that. It's still covered in steri-strips which the doctor said would start coming off soon.  It's still puffy and red but not as angry looking as I thought it would be. There's more bruising than I expected.  Before he let me help with the shirt he took my hand in his and put the two over his heart for just a minute. 

I lost it.  And so did he.  We both sobbed for a few minutes, him on the toilet seat, me kneeling in front of him.  Eventually I pulled myself together and stood up.  I kissed his forehead, pulled the shirt over his head and helped him to his feet. 

So he's sleeping now.  The shower completely exhausted him.  He's got PT in an hour and then Leo's bring over lunch so the two of them can talk about work for a little while.  Leo's been warned about upsetting him.  By Mrs. Bartlet, not me.  So I'm going to leave Josh a note and head over to the office for a while.  Have to put in a call to Katie and Matt. 

And I have to drop Rebecca at the airport.  She doesn't want to go home until after Josh is released but she needs to take care of some things at home.  So she'll come back in a week or so to stay for a while. 

Well, as Josh would say, that happened fast.  Matt and Katie will be here in the morning.  Yes, Matt and Katie.  Should make Josh and I both very happy.  So much to do in between now and then. 

Josh needed a haircut before he got shot and now it's out of control no matter what I try to do with it.  Josh's solution is to wear his Mets hat.  I don't think so.  Mrs. Bartlet arranged for the White House barber to come over and cut his hair later this afternoon. 

We have to find a place in the hospital to do the interview.  Josh refuses to do it in his room.  I just checked the Weather Channel and it is supposed to be very nice tomorrow morning so we're leaning towards doing it outside which means Josh needs a jacket from home and something to wear other than a t-shirt.  He can wear sweatpants, they'll only shoot from the chest up. 

So as soon as the dryer stops I will pack up some stuff for Josh and go back to the hospital, hopefully I'll get there before the barber does. 

OK, I think we're ready for tomorrow.  Unless we get a freak thunderstorm, we'll do it outside in the court yard.  The segment is scheduled for the 8:30 half hour of the show which is good because even though Josh gets up fairly early it does take him a while to work through the stiffness that settles in while he sleeps. 

The barber was here earlier.  Josh is a little pissed cause I told the barber to take a little extra off the top.  His hair grows so fast and it tends to grow out instead of down.  So I thought it would be a good idea to go a little short cause I don't know when Josh'll be up and around enough to go get a haircut.  It's really not that short and I told him I'd put a little gel in it tomorrow morning and fix it for him.  I don't think he thought too much of that idea.  

And then we fought a little about what he was going to wear.  I brought 2 plaid button front shirts for him to pick from and he can wear a t-shirt underneath if he's worried about the scar showing.  He picked the blue plaid which is my favorite.  Then he was annoyed because I didn't bring jeans.  No one is going to see what pants he's wearing, he can just wear sweats.  Nope, he wants jeans.  I don't think he wants Katie to see him mismatched.  So we compromised and Sam will stop by his place later and bring over some shorts and his sneakers, it's supposed to be warm enough and shorts will be much easier to put on.  If it's chilly I can toss a blanket over his legs.  Yeah, that'll defeat the purpose of matching but I'm kind of past that now. 

Next we argued about the makeup.  Josh hates it and always has.  He doesn't want to be made up so he looks healthy.  And that's fine.  So we decided the make up person will let him look as bad as he does at the moment but not like death warmed over which is what he'd look like with no makeup.  Ok, that made a whole lot more sense before I wrote it down but I know what I mean. 

So now Josh is resting before dinner.  Sam is coming over later and I am taking the opportunity to go get my own haircut and my nails done.  Yeah, I'm trying to impress Matt!! 

OK, nails done, haircut, nice outfit, shoes, makeup.  Wow, it's been a rather long time since I put any thought in to my outfit.  It's been sweats and t-shirts for almost two weeks. 

Josh is reading over my shoulder making fun of me.  He's teasing me that it's all for Matt Lauer.  Hell yeah, it is.  

OK he's not going to settle down with me writing so I'm tossing this aside and getting him settled down. 

It's a little after midnight and now I can't sleep.  Too excited about meeting Matt I suppose.  Josh took a long time to settle down.  Even the pain meds didn't knock him out so we finally convinced him to take a sleeping pill.  That and a Lifetime movie knocked him right out. 


	12. 14 Days 12

**14 Days**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _In The Shadow of Two Gunmen_   
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Characters:** Josh and Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  


* * *

**Day 12**

I got up extra early so I would have time to take a long shower and look presentable.  I think I look pretty good considering.  Time to wake Josh up.  Hopefully we'll have a good morning. 

OK, so I guess a good morning was too much to ask for.  Josh woke up fine, ate fine, brushed his teeth and was about to get dressed.  I had stepped into the hallway for a second when I heard him call me.  He was sitting on the edge of my cot completely pale.  I grabbed the basin with one hand as I gently guided his head down between his knees with the other to try and keep him from passing out.  He didn't pass out but he did throw up.  Luckily he wasn't dressed yet so we didn't have to have another wardrobe discussion.  I got him cleaned up and they gave him something to settle his stomach.  We went slow and got him dressed in our agreed upon outfit.  He's getting some make-up on now and I already did his hair for him.  A little gel and he looks adorable. 

OK, where did that come from? 

OH MY GOD, I hear Matt Lauer in the hallway!!!! 

I think I'm still swooning.  And I may never wash my cheek again.  Matt Lauer kissed me.  OK, so I admit, I do get a little star struck at times.  Josh likes to remind me about the David Hasselhoff incident. 

The interview went fine.  Josh did very well.  Only one little coughing fit but he had a cup of water next to him and was able to control it quickly.  Katie's questions were tough but he answered as honestly as he could and wasn't afraid to admit when he didn't remember something.  His memories of being at the town hall meeting up until he was moved to the regular room are very fuzzy.  Doc thinks that one day he will remember but for now he shouldn't push it.  The weather was beautiful and Josh's outfit was fine.  Makeup guy did a good job.  From the tape I've watched Josh looks pretty much as he does in real life, no better, no worse. 

When it was over Katie and Matt and I sat down for a little while to talk.  Leo had been there watching and he took Josh back up to his room and stayed with him until I was done.  Josh was dozing as I thought he would be.  He tires so easily 

He slept for about an hour, got up for PT and is now pestering the doc to let him out tomorrow. I stepped out of the room for that conversation. 

I don't know if he's ready. 

I don't know if I'm ready. 

I do know he's not ready to stay alone but I'm not sure where I fall in the whole scheme of things.  For all I know Mrs. Bartlet's arranging for him to recover in the Residence.  That would not go over well. 

Would I love to just move into his guest room and take care of him?  Sure, I would.  Would that be the best idea for either of us, probably not.  If he does get out tomorrow (Saturday) I'll stay until Monday morning, no questions asked.  But after that, I don't know. 

OK, doc is waving me in the room. 

Well barring any unforseen complications Josh will go home in the morning.  He's working with Greg for a little while.  He's still not completely steady on his feet and when I left the room they were arguing about him using a cane for a while. 

I packed up what we won't need tonight and I'll take it to Josh's place later today so we don't have to drag too much stuff when we leave.  We've got a meeting with PT, OT, RT and probably some other T in the morning before we leave.  Josh asked me to go with him, take notes.  That will work out well. The notes will come in handy when I make up the rules. 

Good, I hear Josh shuffling down the hall and I hear Sam with him so I am out of here for a little while.  Have to stop by my place, grab a few things for the weekend and lug the rest of this stuff back to Josh's. 

OK, 12 hours until we get out of here and Josh is bouncing off the walls.  We've taken two laps around the floor, watched a boring movie, read the paper and talked for a while.  And despite the fact that it's been a long day and it's after 10 he is still wired.  Time for a sleeping pill and a back rub.  I've found that to be a surefire combination.  Maybe not the healthiest one for all involved but right now he needs to settle down so that's all that counts. 


	13. 14 Days 13

**14 Days**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _In The Shadow of Two Gunmen_   
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Characters:** Josh and Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  


* * *

**Day 13**

Doc just came by for one last look at things and then we are out of here.  Had the meeting with everyone earlier this morning.  So Josh leaves this lovely place with a wide assortment of medical paraphenalia---pain meds, sleeping pills, blood pressure medication, antibiotics, an inhaler and the nebulizer to help keep his lungs clear, a long list of dos and don'ts as well as a long list of things to look for, things to panic about. 

Gary's escorting us home.  If it were up to Josh I think he'd walk home.  But considering anything further than a trip down the hall ends in a nap, he's out of luck.  

So this is it from GW.  If I never set foot in here again I'll be a happy camper. 

Home at last.  Or, to be more specific (and I really should be) Josh's place.  Made it here without any great difficulties.  Did take a while for Josh to navigate the 8 steps out front but Gary and Sam helped him and they took things slow. 

Josh was exhausted, physically and emotionally by the time we actually got somewhat settled in.  Sam stayed for a little while until he was sure I had things under control.  He gave me a hug that brought tears to both our eyes.  I promised I would call if I needed anything.  But for now the plan is for me to get Josh settled in and for us to spend the rest of the day alone.  Tomorrow Sam, CJ, Toby, Leo and I are going to sit down and make some plans for the next week or so until Rebecca can get back down here.  Josh isn't ready to be left alone and I am more than ready to get back to some sort of normal work schedule.  So they are coming over tomorrow after lunch, when Josh will likely be napping. 

Josh is out cold on the couch, despite the fight he put up over resting.  A pain pill knocked him out in no time at all. 

So I'm sitting on the floor in front of him, making sure he's still breathing and stuff.  Who am I kidding, I'm sitting with him because I want to.  The sound of his still raspy breathing is comforting.  It's seems so quiet here are compared to the hospital.  No monitors beeping, PA announcements or interruptions from the nurses.  I wonder how we'll sleep tonight. 

And more importantly, I wonder where. 

Wow, Mrs. Bartlet sent an agent over with enough food from the White House kitchen to last a month.  She sent a note saying she and the President didn't want me to have to worry about shopping and cooking, just taking care of Josh.  That was so sweet.  They also sent flowers and balloons.  I put some soup on the stove to simmer and there's fresh bread.  With getting home (there's that word again) and settling in we never did eat lunch and it's almost 3 now.  Josh's been asleep for almost 3 hours but he's starting to stir and I have this fear of him forgetting he's on the couch and rolling over only to end up on the floor.  So'll go check on him now. 

6:00, well apparently Josh had this vision in his head that the minute he got home he would be self-sufficent and able to do everything for himself.  As one can well imagine that's far from the truth.  If anything he's a little worse off here at home.  The bed isn't nice and adjustable like the hospital bed, not that he's actually gotten in to his own bed yet, the bathroom is more than a dozen steps from the couch, a nurse isn't a bell ring away, although I'm trying to convince him to just ask when he needs something.  

He ate a little soup around 4 and used the nebulizer despite putting up a fight about it.  We talked about some "rules" I plan on enforcing while he's recovering.  Let's just say he was less than enthused by them.  But they are for his own good, he doesn't need visitors at all hours disturbing him and getting him agitated.  

He's now flipping through the rather large amount of mail that's been piling up.  I did the bills for him a few days ago but there's still plenty that needs his attention.  He's on the couch and judging by his fidgeting he's not really comfortable. He's starting to whine, not a good sign. 

For the record there really hasn't been a lot of whining from Josh in the past 2 weeks.  That's not to say there hasn't been complaining about stuff, there has been.  But most of it has been legit.  The whining only comes out at times when things just overwhelm him, pain, exhaustion, bordom and most importantly frustration.  It starts with the fidgeting, the sighing and finally spirals into whining.  And I think now that we're home (he's home) the whining will be more frequent.  And that's ok, I'm used to it.  I can take it. 

I'll let him finish the mail and then suggest a shower or something to relax him. 

* * *

7:20--the hallway outside Josh's bathroom.  He's in the shower and I'm trying to give him pace so I'm not sitting in the bathroom while he showers.  By the time he finished with the mail be was completely frustrated and near tears.  I'm not sure why and I don't think he really knew either.  Just a generic meltdown I teased. He smiled.  He got up and took a couple slow laps around the apartment.  Without prodding on my part he asked me to help him stretch a little.  I did but he was just into much pain to push himself.  Needs to time the exercising better with the pain meds. 

9:15, he sleeps.  And in his own bed.  It took a pain pill, a sleeping pill and me sitting next to him to get him to settle down.  He's worried about sleeping away from the safety of the hospital.  When he slept he was still on the O2 monitor and so if for some reason he had a problem an alarm would sound.  That and the nurses were in every hour or so to check on him.  When he slept this afternoon I was awake and of course checking on him every 15 minutes. 

That said, I am still sitting on his bed next to him, writing by the light from the street light coming in the window and the light from the bathroom across the hall.  Every bone in my body and every brain cell is telling me to go sleep on the couch.  But my heart won't let me.  You couldn't pay me to be anywhere else right now.  So here I am, sitting on the bed of my boss who's sound asleep in his blue plaid pajamas.  He's on his side facing me, curled up as best he can with pillows behind him, under his head and clutched to his chest. For the first time in a long time he looks as if he's at peace.  The lines of pain have disappeared with the pill, with my touch, whatever, they're gone, for the moment.  But I'm sure they'll return in a few hours. 

Well, it's getting hard to see in the dark and there's nothing more to write.  I'm going to lie down next to Josh, something I may regret in the morning.  But I'll take my chances. 

1:50, what in the world made me think this would be an easy night?  I have no idea.  Josh woke up a little after midnight.  After a whole 3 straight hours worth of sleep.  He woke up in pain, shaking, sweating, miserable and in my arms.  I got him a pain pill and some juice which he took without complaint.  I helped him to the bathroom and grabbed a dry shirt for him.  He let me help him with the shirt without the usual grumbling about me seeing the scar.  Everything was great until I suggested he lie down and go back to sleep.  That didn't go over well so I put some nice soothing music on the stereo and we settled down on the couch.  He still had some trouble getting comfortable, finally ending up stretched out on the couch with his head in my lap.  It just seemed like the natural thing to do.  I brushed back his hair and we did some deep breathing to help him relax until the pill kicked it.  It takes a while but as soon as it hits, he's out in a matter of 10 minutes.  It's rather comical to watch.  One minute he's talking fine and the next he's having trouble stringing more than 2 words together.  He's been known to fall asleep mid-sentence. 

And so I managed to crawl off the couch without waking him a few minutes ago.  He feels a little warm so I put a cool cloth on his forehead and put a glass of water on the coffee table for him.  I think I'll just curl up in the recliner and try to sleep a while.  Who knows how long he'll be out. 


	14. 14 Days 14

**14 Days**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _In The Shadow of Two Gunmen_   
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Characters:** Josh and Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  


* * *

**Day 14**

4:45, AM!!  Been a rough hour or so.  Josh woke up very disoriented a little before 4.  Which means he got less than 2 straight hours sleep this time around.  He didn't seem to be in severe pain or anything, nor do I think he really had a nightmare.  I just think he's so used to being woken up during the night that his clock is all off. And with the meds he was just out of it. 

I got him a drink and sat down next to him and rubbed his back.  He drained the glass of water pretty quickly and before I could comment that maybe that wasn't such a good idea he threw up.  Let's just say I didn't have a bowl handy on the coffee table.  So thank God for hardwood floors.  While I got things cleaned up Josh curled up in the corner of the couch mortified.  When I finished I was able to convince him to crawl back in bed.  He fell asleep instantly and now I'm wide awake.  I keep being reminded of what they tell new mothers, "sleep when the baby sleeps".  And so I will try to do just that. 

8:30--got a few hours sleep, with Josh, in his bed.  Bad idea, bells are still going off in my head as I write.  I just couldn't leave him alone, even though the couch is only about 20 feet from his bed. I crawled under the quilt with him and he put his head on my shoulder. It felt right, it felt natural, it was wrong.  And that's the reason I need to get out of here.  I can't be with Josh 24/7.  It's not good for me and it's certainly not good for him.  I know how I feel about him, I'm falling for him.  And that's not a good idea.  Sure, we're friends, best friends even, but he is my boss, plain simple, should be the end of the story. 

I can't speak for him but if I had to guess I'd say he feels the same way.  But I can justify that, you know the whole, "Florence Nightengale syndrome". 

Anyway, we did talk last night about my plans.  I will go back to work in the morning, stay there until lunchtime and then come back here.  I'll bring some work to do here in the afternoons.  In the morning someone will come over to stay with him because I don't think he's ready to be left alone yet.  A whole group of people have volunteered to help out.  Even sweet Mrs. King from across the hall offered to sit with him.  Granted she's about 85 and not the most spry person around but Josh adores her and her cooking.  I think she reminds him of his grandmother. 

Anyway, all this scheduling will be worked out this afternoon.  So I should probably put this away, pick up a little, decide what to make for lunch and think about waking Josh sometime soon. 

Noon-Sam's on his way over and the rest will be here around 2.  I made lunch for the guys and while they eat I'm going to run home to pack some stuff for the morning.  I told Josh I would stay tonight and beyond that we will discuss later. 

Dear Donna, 

First of all, don't panic.  I didn't read anything.  I turned to the first blank page.  Even though you say there's no "good stuff" in here I don't believe you. 

I suppose I should get to the point cause I don't know how long I'm going to be able to write. 

Words can never express my thanks and gratitude for all you've done over the past 2 weeks.  You've been my friend, my protector, my confidant, my rock.  Out of all the things you've done for me I will remember the little things the most.  They way you rubbed my back to get me to settle down, the stupid jokes you told me to get me to smile,  the food you brought me when I refused to eat hospital food, the way you sheltered me from the outside world, even when I complained, the way you just held me and let me cry, even when I had no idea what was wrong.  The most comforting thing was knowing you were never more than a whisper (or on the rare occasion, phone call) away.  You put your life on hold for me.  Other than my parents, no one has ever done that for me. 

I realize things could have gotten very awkward over the past two weeks.  Although I am not positive, I'm pretty sure you got at least one glance at more than you had anticipated.  (Please, you don't have to confirm my suspicion)  But I think we've both come through things with a new understanding and appreciation of each other. 

Well, my handwriting is starting to look like yours so I will end this. 

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart. 

Love Always, 

Joshua 

Oh my God, he must have written that when I went home at lunchtime.  Now I need tissues, lots of them.  Thank God he's dozing in the recliner.  Toby, CJ, and Leo left about an hour ago.  Sam stayed to clean up and just left a few minutes ago.  Josh had been awake for the better part of 6 hours, which may be a new record.  It's almost 4 so I'll let him sleep until dinner and then try to keep him awake until about 10 so I at least have a chance at getting a good night's sleep tonight.  I really think I need to sleep on the couch tonight. 

7:15, just finished dinner. I thanked Josh for the note.  Ended up crying despite trying no to. Josh is quiet tonight as I thought he would be.  Didn't eat much.  He's in his room, not sure what he's doing, I don't hear anything.  I think he's trying to distance himself, knowing I won't be around for a large part of the day from now on.  I keep telling myself it's for the best.  And deep down I know it is.  But I guess I'm a little disappointed that this is our "last night" together. 

Time for some antibiotics and a session with the nebulizer.  I'll see if I can get him to eat something when he's done. 

It's almost ten and I'm right where I said I wouldn't be tonight, in Josh's bed.  He's reading a little, trying to distract himself until the pain meds kick in.  I did end up getting him to eat some of the fruit salad the Bartlet's sent over and a muffin.  He stretched a little, letting me help.  He's still quiet as I expect he will be for the rest of the evening.  Let's hope for a quiet night. 

OK, he's moved from slightly restless to major fidgeting in the space of a few minutes.  Time to help him relax,  (ok that just sounded really, really wrong!!) 

* * *

He sleeps; it's 11:15 and I really should turned off the lights and put this away. 

But I just feel like I should write.  With going back to work tomorrow I am positive I won't be writing in this 5 and 6 times a day.  I'm going to miss it. 

Over the past two days, since he's come home, I've reread what I've written since he was shot.  I can't believe all he's been through, all we've been through.  Josh is right, we do have a new found appreciation and understanding of each other.  He's come a long way from the pale, motionless man in the recovery room.  Still has a long way to go but I think he'll be fine. 

I agree with Josh about remembering the little things over these past few weeks.  The look on his face when he first woke up and recognized me, the way he always looked around the room for me after he woke up, how he could say so much without even talking, the way he let me in even when he didn't want help from anyone else, the way he reaches out for me, even in a drugged sleep.  That's....there's no one word to describe the way that makes me feel...needed, appreciated, terrified and loved. 

I'd be lying if I said certain feelings haven't been creeping into my mind over these past few weeks.  Feelings I keep well hidden, except for within the pages of this journal.  I love Josh but I'm not in love with him.  I can't be, he's my boss and my best friend.  And right now is not the time to change the dynamics of our relationship, (well, anymore than it's already been changed)  I'm also not willing to risk what we have as friends.  What if we try to have a relationship and it fails, what then?  As corny as it sounds, I'd rather be friends for life than lovers for 6 months. 

Maybe that's not so corny after all. 

It's getting late and I really should be getting to sleep. Josh is sleeping soundly but who knows for how long.  He looks absolutely adorable at the moment, he's in his plaid pajamas, curled up around a pillow, facing me.  Despite the fact that it's really short his hair is sticking up in all directions giving him that rumpled look that I've come to love.  The lines of pain and worry are temporarily missing from his forehead.  I know if I run my hand over his cheek he'll show his dimples just a little. 

And there they are. 

So I will spend my last night by his side.  When I stay tomorrow, it's the couch for me.  I can't do this.  It's not fair to either of us.  But for now I'll take him in my arms, I'll kiss his forehead and rub his back, doing my best to make him feel safe and loved. 

THE END


End file.
